Family Worship: Leading in Asking Questions
December 11, 2019
Can you think of a time this past week when you felt heard? A time when someone gave you the gift of their attention and listened carefully to you? Perhaps it took place on Sunday after worship when someone caught you and followed up on a past conversation you had shared with them. Perhaps it happened over coffee at the local Starbucks, when an acquaintance walked by and you caught up on some highlights since the last time you had seen them.
As someone whose primary “love language” is quality time, I can’t tell you how much these kinds of interactions mean to me personally. The perfect day, for me, is getting to invest in other people and share meaningful time with loved ones. It fills me up, plain and simple, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this!
One of the best ways we can lead others in our spheres of influence is through the art of cultivating meaningful moments through asking questions. A thoughtful question can spark a whole series of thoughts and shape a healthy interaction where both parties are heard and appreciated. And when we feel genuinely heard and understood by others, our relationships are strengthened and our demeanor is lifted, much like a ray of warm sunlight stretching over us.
Have you considered that, as adult believers in Christ, we have the unique privilege of investing in younger people and making them feel heard, no matter if you are raising children yourself or are empty nesters? In 1 Timothy 5:1–2, Paul instructed Timothy, his son in the faith, along with the other elders with the following household rules: “Treat younger men like brothers, older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity.” As the church is the family of God, it is expected of us to care for the rest of the family with a spirit of wisdom and a readiness to love in Christ’s name.
But we live in a secular world that tries to operate apart from such things. Truly, this is a shocker to no one, but we are surrounded by a media-consumed culture that broadly disregards the innocency of little ones. Issues of morality are piled upon those in the public school system without respect to God and his law. Social media is brimming with competing worldviews vying for the attention of the beholder. The most common of communication tools for young ones is through a swarm of images, which dizzies, yet captivates the mind. All the while, our young ones desire attention, care, and the gifts of being truly heard and known and loved.
In our current blog series, we’re considering the concept of worshipping God as a family. So you might wonder to yourself, “How does this tie in with family worship?” Well, I’m glad you asked! See, while the manner in which you lead your own family in worship throughout the week may look different from others, when you gather around the Word of God together in prayerfulness, you open the door of communication with your spouse and children. When intentionality is given to the practice of praying for each other and reading Scripture together as a family unit, each member is naturally provided the opportunity to express their thoughts and to be heard. And one of the best instruments to make this time even more meaningful is through the art of asking substantive questions and listening well.
Active listening is a powerful tool that I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone looking to grow in compassion and leadership. It’s a skill that expresses hospitality and honor. However, we often forget to utilize healthy listening skills with those in our immediate family. When it comes to fostering healthy family relationships, we probably recognize that both spiritual maturation and growth in wisdom and discernment take time. Much like the slow growth of a leaf-bearing tree requires years of sunlight, rain water, nutrients, healthy family relationships take time. But intentional, active listening tends to growth in a unique way. It is akin to trimming the branches of a tree, in order to promote a desired outcome that is beautiful. Active listening requires attention to the specifics of another’s life and slowly shaping healthy thought patterns for their good and God’s glory.
Back to the matter of worship, what would it look like for you to incorporate active listening into your family time, as you look together to God? Proverbs 17:24 says, “The discerning sets his face toward wisdom.” So my prayer for each of our families at Grace this week is that we would consider how we lead with questions that cultivate quality time with our loved ones and so seek their welfare.
